Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Pupil 1

Long Lankin looked like he was going to transform into a creepy ghoul with red blood shot eyes, a green face and a hooded cloak that you could only see his face at the moment of his death.


His skin had holes all over it so you could see through his skin. Long Lankin crept up to the tower... his hearing was so great he could hear her panicking. He walked up the stairs silently but for the slight creaking of the old stairs. Finally when he reached the top, the door was locked, so he decided to go downstairs and kill the baby.

3 comments:

  1. A creepy description, good to use the word 'crept' can you think of better word for 'walked'?

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  2. "You could only see his face at the moment of death" is a BRILLIANT line!

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  3. Interesting to have the tale from Long Lankin's point of view - he could hear her panicking. Good build up of tension and creepy description.

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